


Lights, Camera, Satisfaction

by americanphancakes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Actor Dan Howell, Awkward Crush, Bad Flirting, M/M, Mutual Pining, No smut but a non-graphic fake sex part, Sexual Tension, director phil lester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22979533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanphancakes/pseuds/americanphancakes
Summary: Dan's landed a dream acting role, working with a director he's always admired but is now crushing on badly. And today, he has to shoot a love scene. What could go wrong?The Director!Phil AU that actually several people asked for.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 14
Kudos: 79





	Lights, Camera, Satisfaction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [watergator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/gifts), [Rawritsamehh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rawritsamehh/gifts).



> I was supposed to be cleaning, but this happened instead. 
> 
> Unbeta'd, probably very imperfect, but here ya go :)

In a lot of ways, Phil didn’t look like Dan’s mental image of a film director. He was tall, thin (but not too thin), pale, overall generally nerdy. And in those ways he looked perhaps more like a game developer.

But in other ways -- the style of glasses he wore, his broad shoulders, his all-black outfit with small bursts of contrasting color, the way he took control -- he definitely looked like the man in charge of this film set.

Phil’s imagination was a beautiful mystery to Dan. In interviews, people would ask Phil ‘Where do you get your ideas?’ only to be met with a bashful smile and a dismissive response about the ideas ‘just coming to me.’

So when Dan got this role, he was excited by the prospect of learning just how the great Phil Lester worked. What would it be like to be on set with him? What could Dan learn from such a talent?

What Dan learned was that in his opinion, Phil was basically sex personified. The way he walked, the way he focused on what he was doing, the way he seemed to give precisely zero fucks about what anyone thought of him. Having been a theater kid his whole life, Dan basically had insecurity hard-wired into his brain, so Phil was like a superhero to him. A really hot, gorgeous, sexy, powerful superhero.

The movie was supposed to be a gay romantic drama, and merely being in Phil Lester’s presence made it easy for Dan to channel the emotions he was meant to portray.

“You’re doing great,” Phil would say.

And Dan would barely squeeze out a “Thank you” before wanting to pass out.

***

Today, Dan was filming the big love confession scene opposite his co-star, a boyishly handsome man who’d gotten dirty blond highlights for the role. He could see why others found the guy appealing, but personally Dan was more interested in… someone else.

“I’m sorry,” Dan’s character said to his co-star.

“For what?”

“For what I’m about to tell you.” Dan took a step toward his co-star and looked him in the eyes. They were blue. He imagined he was talking to Phil, and suddenly it became very easy to continue his lines. “You… you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. And… I hope you feel the same way I do, but if you don’t… that’s okay. I just couldn’t go another moment without telling you.”

“Cut!” Phil called. Dan turned his head in Phil’s direction.

“Sorry, did I fuck that up?” Dan asked, genuinely anxious that he’d missed a sentence or mumbled or something.

“No, no, the performance was fantastic,” Phil said, walking up to Dan on the set. He smirked a bit. “Really believable, actually. You’re nailing it. It’s just that I need you to take like, a half step closer to George, and turn your body this way just a tiny bit.” When Phil said ‘this way,’ he reached down to grab Dan’s leg at the thigh. Dan tensed ever so briefly at the feeling of Phil's powerful hand pressing into his leg. He tried to think about anything else to avoid embarrassing himself. Unfortunately, Phil then knelt on the floor, which did _not_ help. Dan kept his eyes off Phil. Phil took hold of Dan's ankle, turning it ever so slightly so Dan's foot was pointed more toward the camera. Dan let his leg move the way Phil was positioning it, and looked down while trying to breathe normally. Phil looked up into Dan’s eyes once the leg was in position.

_ Blue eyes, _ was all Dan could think. He gulped. “Thanks,” he whispered, before clearing his throat and saying “Thanks” again, properly this time.

Phil smirked again.  _ Motherfucker. _ Dan thought he could see some pink in Phil’s cheeks, too. He was probably just imagining it though.

“Alright,” Phil said, standing back up and walking behind the camera again. “We rolling?”

Dan could see where Phil was standing out of the corner of his eye now, which would make this a bit more difficult. He looked at George -- which was the character’s name, Dan couldn’t be fucked to remember the actor’s name right now -- and focused on the eyes as much as he could.

“Action!” Phil called.

“You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. And I hope that you feel the same way I do, but if you don’t… that’s okay. It’s just that I couldn’t go another moment without telling you.”

“William…”

“Please call me Will. Please. I know it’s stupid, but… hearing you call me ‘Will’ makes me feel so much more… human.”

“Okay,” George said with a nod. “Will.”

Dan gave his co-star a tiny smile.

“It’s just that it doesn’t matter if I feel the same way. You know it doesn’t. Nothing can happen between us.”

“Move your faces closer,” Phil called.

“Maybe not,” Dan said.

“Yeah…”

“And kiss,” Phil said.

Suddenly, Dan imagined Phil asking him for a kiss. His mind adjusted the pitch and speed of Phil saying that word, “kiss,” and played it over and over again.  _ ‘Kiss me,’ _ daydream-Phil was saying.

Dan gladly acquiesced, closing his eyes and leaning into the kiss with his co-star, pretending it was Phil.

The kiss continued, fervent and passionate, until Phil said “Cut!” again. He and ‘George’ separated.

“Beautiful,” Phil said. “Everyone, take 5.”

Dan relaxed his body.

“Holy hell, Dan,” the blond said. “If kissing you for real is anything like that, your significant other is a very lucky person!”

“Oh, uh… thanks?” Dan said. Distractedly, he looked toward Phil (while the costar went off somewhere, the restroom or the craft services table or something) and just… didn’t stop looking.

Phil was watching playback on a monitor next to the camera, and Dan was transfixed. He never thought it’d be so fascinating watching a director sit there. And watch. Watch him. Kissing someone.

_ Oh god. He’s watching me kiss someone. And I’m pretending that someone is him. He’s watching what I would look like kissing him. And… is he…. Oh god he’s blushing. _

Phil’s adam’s apple bobbed visibly.

Dan’s mouth hung open.

_ Is he… is he into that? Is he into watching me kiss someone? No way. That’s stupid wishful thinking, Dan. Stop it. _

Phil nodded to himself and stood up. He headed toward craft services and got himself a bottle of water. If Dan wanted some water too, that was totally understandable, right? It wouldn’t look like he’d followed the director over there. Nothing suspicious at all.

So he did. He grabbed a water bottle and stood next to Phil, adjusting his position to look as casual as possible.

“So… how do you think it’s going so far?”

“Wonderfully,” Phil answered. “I was nervous about bringing a newcomer onto a project this important, but you and Cole are doing marvelously.”

“Thanks,” Dan said, his breathing feeling a bit constricted.

“Your performance is particularly… impassioned. Got a thing for your co-star, do you?”

“What? No! No, of course not.”

Phil chuckled bitterly. “It’s okay if you do. Happens all the time. Just be careful if you pursue it, yeah?”

“W-- but… No, I’m not…”

Phil walked back to his director’s chair before Dan could finish.

Everyone eventually returned to their places, and the scene continued through the main characters’ dialogue until the moment everyone dreaded... the sex scene.

Not that it was an explicit one, it just needed to be obvious what was going on. It would only be shot from the waist up, and it would consist of some shirt removal followed by Dan and -- what was his name? Cole? -- rocking back and forth three times. That was it.

Phil called “Action,” and Dan felt himself tense up.

“Eye contact,” Phil said.

Dan’s eyes went back and forth between his co-star’s.

“Will, you take off George’s shirt first.”

Cole’s button-up was hanging open. Dan delicately pushed the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Cole looked down at the fabric on the ground and then back up at Dan.

“Cut,” Phil said. “George, shirt back on. Will, be a bit less… romantic about it.”

“Sorry,” Dan said, confused. “Less romantic?”

“Yeah, a bit more forceful. Just a bit, you know, not too much.”

“Okay.”

Cole’s shirt was back on, and Phil called “Action” again.

Dan pushed the shirt off Cole’s shoulders more assertively.

“Uh, okay…” Phil exhaled. Dan tried not to react to Phil’s oddly tense tone. “Now, George, you pull Will’s shirt up and off, and then admire him for a bit.”

Cole did as he was told.

“Cut!” Phil said suddenly, once Dan was shirtless. “Can we move this lighting rig a little bit? I feel like the lighting is too bright on George and not bright enough on Will.”

A few crew members scrambled to move the standing lights around. Phil stood behind the monitor, looking at the scene, and Dan could swear he saw Phil gulp again.  _...Is Phil looking at me? _

“Um… just move that one a bit more,” Phil said, looking at the set and the monitor over and over. Dan and Cole stood there, waiting for the light adjustment to finish.

“Okay, that works,” Phil finally said. The lighting looked almost the same as it did before, as far as Dan could tell.

The cinematographer rolled his eyes.

***

On-camera sex was awkward.

Not in the sense of feeling exposed, at least not in this case. But physically holding oneself in the same position while cameras were moved was decidedly unsexy. And Dan’s arms were getting tired.

“You doing alright?” Dan chuckled.

“Yeah,” Cole said. “Just remembered I need to get toilet paper on the way home.”

“Oh shit, I do too.”

“And… action!”

Dan rocked his body upward, and leaned in to kiss Cole.

“Cut! Will, can you move your right arm down? It’s too hard to see you.”

Dan moved his arm.

“Also can you make sexier faces between the kisses? I want to  _ feel _ your orgasm even though we can’t see it, yeah?”

Dan cleared his throat. “Um… y--yeah. Okay.”

“Action!”

_ Literally, _ Dan thought. He immediately made a sexy pre-orgasmic face to cover up his desire to laugh. _ Okay, Dan, get in the zone. Think about Phil. _

Dan rocked his body a few times, kissed Cole, pulled away, and looked at Cole’s eyes. Cole started to look a bit uncomfortable, and then his eyes widened a bit.

“Uh… Phil, can we cut?” Cole said.

“Cut! What’s up?”

“Dan, uh… Dan’s really getting into it.”

Dan looked down at his crotch. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

***

Phil stopped Dan on his way out. Everyone else had gone for the day. It was late. Dan was tired. But mostly, he was nervous. He knew Phil was going to give him a lecture for not keeping himself under control today, and he was not looking forward to it.

“What was that about today?” Phil asked.

“What was what about?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t have a thing for my co-star, Phil. I told you.”

“Do you swear you don’t?” Phil was speaking more quietly, stepping almost imperceptibly closer to Dan. 

“Yes, I swear.”

Phil took one more step towards Dan. Phil smelled clean, masculine… sweet like cinnamon, but rough and dark like a forest.

“Then what happened?”

“I er…” Dan started. His voice came out airy and light and shaky. “I don’t know.”

Phil’s eyebrows narrowed. “If I don’t know what’s going on, I can’t fix it.”

“I don’t want you to fix it,” Dan exhaled, his eyes flickering down toward Phil’s lips.

Phil was close now. Too close. Impossibly close. “No?” he asked quietly.

“No.”

“And you… don’t have a thing for Cole?”

“No,” Dan said, looking Phil square in the eyes. “It’s you.”

“Me?” Phil said, almost sweetly, sounding genuinely surprised.

“Oh god,” Dan said, wincing, his stomach clenching. He lowered his head to hide his furiously blushing face. “Oh god I did not just say that.”

“Dan,” Phil whispered. He put his finger under Dan’s chin and lifted his face up.

Dan quietly gasped.  _ Blue eyes, _ he thought.  _ Oh my god they’re so fucking pretty. _ He tried to look away from Phil’s eyes but only succeeded in looking at his lips again.

Phil smirked again --  _ seriously why does that smirk have to be so fucking hot _ \-- and moved his hand up to Dan’s cheek. He leaned in close. Dan’s breaths were so shallow he was nearly not breathing at all. 

“Is this okay?” Phil asked just before their lips made contact.

“Yes,” Dan whispered. “Fuck, yes.”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the song "L.C.S." by FEMM.... kind of sad I wasted this title on a fic that wasn't about making an actual sex tape but eh, that fic was never gonna happen anyway lol


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